Seven books. That’s 4.6% of our picture book collection, or 5% if I’m being generous on the round up. I’ve included a picture of those seven books below. Of course, my collection is in no way representative of the actual percentage of children’s books that feature negative emotions. However, I find it noteworthy that my collection only has 5%. How many do you have at home? Or, if you’re library regular like me, how many do you notice in the children’s section of the library? Children’s books about negative emotions are important because they help support children’s emotional health. In a blog post about helping children manage their anger, clinical psychologist Dr. Jazmine McCoy writes, “Children learn to regulate their bodies and their feelings through us. We have to help them – it’s called co-regulate – before they can learn how to regulate on their own. A lot of this process needs to be walked through.” Eva Eland, author of the children’s book When Sadness Is At Your Door, addresses the internal conflict some adults may feel when discussing negative emotions with children. In a 2019 BookTrust article she acknowledges, “I understand that it might not be easy for adults to open up and show a more vulnerable side, especially when they have not learned very well to deal with their own emotions in their own childhood. Or how difficult it can be to let go of the wish to protect children from pain and negative emotions…But strong emotions like sadness, disappointment and fear will always be a part of life, and I believe the best way to protect our children from too much pain is to give them the opportunities to learn to deal with them, in a way that suits them, and at a pace they are comfortable with.” Like Eland points out, negative emotions are a part of life. Children’s books about negative emotions can help caregivers find the words to discuss big feelings with children. They also provide children with a sense of validation for their feelings and tools for coping with their emotions safely. However, this comes with the caveat that not all children’s books about negative emotions are helpful for emotional education. For example, you may have noticed the popular children’s book The Pout Pout Fish by Deborah Diesen in the picture above. Rather than normalize the “pout pout” or negative feelings the fish has, this book’s message unfortunately came across to me as: big feelings bother those around you. Take this quote for example, “Your hulky-bulky sulking is an unattractive trait!” (The Pout Pout Fish, p. 16). Books about negative emotions that instead offer empathy, support, and coping strategies are the ones that I find to be most impactful. In the list below, I’ve included children’s books about negative emotions that I believe nurture healthy emotional education. I hope they help you and the children you know learn how to navigate big feelings.
Children’s Books About Negative Emotions
A Variety of Negative Feelings
Sadness & Grief
Anger
Anxiety & Worry
Loneliness & Fear
While I chose books about sadness, grief, anger, worry, fear, and loneliness, this list is not all-encompassing, and there are many other negative emotions out there. What books have you found helpful in addressing negative emotions with children? It is my hope that this list will encourage more conversation about negative emotions in the world of children’s books. Reading and talking about negative emotions has made an incredible impact on my son and me. I hope these books make a difference for you and the little ones in your life too.
